A friend of mine – a dear, dear friend – told me I should be writing. I should be capturing the things I’m going through. She’s right. It’s taken a few days (ahem, weeks) for the anesthesia to wind its way out of my body. The nearly seven hour surgery took a while to get through – I think I still smell differently. How strange is that? My brain is still a little foggy. #excuses
Apparently, I’m surviving this whole ordeal in high spirits. I’m positive. I’m not sure how else I’m supposed to feel. It’s going to be mid-August whether or not I get to put weight on my right leg. I don’t have a lot of options right now. There’s two plates, four pins, and more than twelve screws in my right hip — nearly $9k worth of hardware!
I don’t like asking for help. I don’t like taking assistance. And now, there’s absolutely no way I can take care of my family without major help. We have friends coming in the morning, family in the afternoon – every day. I have to ask for help. I have to accept help. It is both harder and easier than I thought. It’s lovely to have things done for me. My home is clean, laundry is done. I just miss doing things myself – who would think I missed sweeping?
There is a village surrounding me. At first, I was amazed that I was nice enough to warrant such a response. I’m not that nice. I couldn’t possibly be so friendly that even our pharmacist called and asked to help out. Then, I realized it wasn’t about me – it was about this lovely, special, amazing village I live in. These people are so good. They pray. They bring us meals. They pick up from daycare. They leave daily knock knock jokes on Facebook to give cheer.
My family is surrounded. My family is lifted up. My family is supported. This is beyond difficult, but babies still need to be bathed. Backpacks need to be packed. Groceries need to be bought. Garbage needs to be taken out to the street. Having a family complicates things beyond measure, but in many ways it makes life very simple. I need to heal – slowly, strongly. I need to support my husband. I need to spend time with my darling children.
It’s summer. It’s slow and the living is easy. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.