At Christmas, I put lights in the windows at the front of our home. It’s a tradition for me – I do it almost every year, then promptly break or lose the candles and replace them the following year. (Shout out Big Lots!) Anyway, this year I scored a few from Ikea and I really liked them. They lasted through the holiday and I never once turned them off (holla battery-power!).
Slowly, the batteries died for each candle. The only window that’s still going strong after almost four months? C4’s room. The candle is still lit. It’s like a sign – we check each night. Maybe if the light bulb dies or the batteries finally give out, she’ll arrive on the morrow? Or maybe it’s waiting till we bring this new soul home.
Wednesday, I swung by the church on my way to a growth* ultrasound. Our pastor was sitting on the front steps, with a small pot of smudge in her hands – ready to give a blessing. As she made the sign of the cross on my forehead, I was struck both by grace and a determination to do better. I felt good, calm. My light is on and I’m ready.
*She looks like an 8-pounder, maybe a 9-pounder.