Okay, so remember a few weeks ago – four weeks ago today, actually – when I said I didn’t want to go back to work? Yeah. About that…
I still wish I didn’t have to work. Wouldn’t almost anyone? My house was clean, my baby well taken care of, and I was able to get dinner on the table without stress. I loved being Donna Reed more than I expected, and I wouldn’t mind indulging in that for a while. However, I did go back to work. I went back to work and soon realized that even with the perk of working remotely* – I want more.
If I’m going to be away from my family and daughter and have to pay for childcare (yet another thing we’re tossing around over here), I want my job to mean more. I want what I do to matter. And I want my contribution to my company to be valued. You know the way a company values your contribution? They. Pay. You.
I know, shocking stuff up in here. I was recently given a glowing review, but it was accompanied by some workplace rationalizations that just don’t work for me. Like most of this parenthood stuff, I’m evolving to realize that I do want to work, but I want to work differently. There’s a sign on a church down the road with the sign, “If you stop changing you’re through.” Couldn’t agree more.
*I work remotely. Even though that happens to be at home – I have a constant connection to my office via chat, facetime, and skype. When I say I work at home, somehow folks think that I don’t put in eight hours. I don’t usually put in eight hours – it’s more like ten. So, y’know… Yes, I work from home. (okay, end crazy mom rant)