Posted by: cck | August 21, 2012

evolving

Okay, so remember a few weeks ago – four weeks ago today, actually – when I said I didn’t want to go back to work?  Yeah.  About that…

I still wish I didn’t have to work.  Wouldn’t almost anyone?  My house was clean, my baby well taken care of, and I was able to get dinner on the table without stress.  I loved being Donna Reed more than I expected, and I wouldn’t mind indulging in that for a while.  However, I did go back to work.  I went back to work and soon realized that even with the perk of working remotely* – I want more.

If I’m going to be away from my family and daughter and have to pay for childcare (yet another thing we’re tossing around over here), I want my job to mean more.  I want what I do to matter.  And I want my contribution to my company to be valued.  You know the way a company values your contribution?  They.  Pay.  You.

I know, shocking stuff up in here.  I was recently given a glowing review, but  it was accompanied by some workplace rationalizations that just don’t work for me.  Like most of this parenthood stuff, I’m evolving to realize that I do want to work, but I want to work differently.  There’s a sign on a church down the road with the sign, “If you stop changing you’re through.”  Couldn’t agree more.

*I work remotely.  Even though that happens to be at home – I have a constant connection to my office via chat, facetime, and skype.  When I say I work at home, somehow folks think that I don’t put in eight hours.  I don’t usually put in eight hours – it’s more like ten.  So, y’know… Yes, I work from home.  (okay, end crazy mom rant)

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Responses

  1. Good luck with the career goals. I work from home, too, and I love how people are like “oh that’s nice, you get to be home with her.” Um, yeah, no. When I went back to work full time my husband was in grad school and was home with her most of the days and we had her in MMO a couple of days a week so he could get school work done. And yes, I got to eat lunch with them sometimes and I could stop if I needed to help out, but you can’t have a baby (or toddler or preschooler) in the room while you try to get work done and have conference calls and such. What a joke! Now I’m working part time and that’s been much better. Not my dream job, I have other thing(s) I want to pursue later on down the line, but for where I am now it allows me to earn a little money and still cook meals and go shopping and take weekday trips to the zoo. Yahoo!


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