At seven centimeters, I still thought I was being a wimp about the contractions. I was laboring against the side of the bed at this point,and trying not to be too whiny. What I didn’t know is that the contractions were doubles and triples – and off the scale. I thought they were at level two… And all I cared about was getting the damn epidural. Well, that and meeting my daughter.
I kept repeating that over and over again… I get to meet my daughter today. I pictured her face, her body, her hands and toes and would tell anyone who came in the room – I get to meet my daughter today. I get a baby.
Could I have continued without the epidural? Maybe. But there was absolutely no desire to do so. K and I were both worried I would progress too much and miss my window. Thanks to the cool headed team of Cathy and Katie, I got the epidural and all was right in the world. Looking back, I’m glad I had the experience of labor – but getting the epidural was amazeballs. Seriously, look at both our faces.
We were tasked with “laboring down” and getting some rest. Without any sleep, we were both a bit punchy so we settled down and napped on and off for about an hour. We were just so damn excited. After a short visit with family, it was announced that my daughter had settled down, my water had finally broken (stubborn bag – the doctor couldn’t even get it with her knitting needle thing), and we were going to start pushing.
Pushing. Hmm… It’s odd. They told me to push like I was constipated – but, being the oh-so-regular gal that I am, I found it a bit foreign. We practiced while part of the epidural wore off, and then it was ON. K had one knee, Becki-the-Brilliant held the other and we cracked each other up during contractions. K would push too and then have to leave the room to fart. Y’all – it was hysterical.
After two short hours – which I’ve been assured is very respectable for a first time labor – I had my daughter. I can remember the feeling when her head broke free, and the second push that brought her into this world and into my arms. It was… intense. And I was in awe.
I didn’t feel love right away – that’s a pure movie construction, I think – but I felt this overwhelming sense of calm. Like everything was right in the world. My entire family was there – my darling husband, my beautiful daughter. She was placed on my chest, and cleaned up, and K and I marveled at the sight of her.
Girlfriend had HAIR. And beautiful eyes. And the most perfect little rosebud lips. She has K’s complexion – and while she looked just like me as a baby for her first few days, she now resembles K more and more. After two hours or so (we were greedy with our alone time), our families came up to see the blessed child. And it was beautiful.
I wish I could be more eloquent about this experience. It was a day full of awe for me – I think I was a bit in shock. I’ve never seen K so happy, so proud, so complete. It’s a beautiful thing, being this family.