Posted by: cck | November 7, 2011

sinking in

I didn’t really give this the full credit it deserves: my doctor thinks I’m okay.

My doctor thinks I’m going to be okay.  Okay enough that I can last through my pregnancy without taking medication.
He said that he didn’t think I was brittle – that with four weeks of non-medicated health under my belt, I should be okay.

I cannot explain – although I’m clumsily trying to – how amazing this feels.  It’s sort of like my life sentence just got commuted.

I know, to some degree, that he doesn’t know me well.  I know he didn’t go through my whole history.  I know that I presented a perfectly normal picture.  Of course, that’s because I am perfectly normal.  He didn’t need to go through my whole history because I explained it.  I am currently healthy.  My brain is not declaring war – we’re at peace.

Sometimes, I don’t seem to know how strong I am.  Not that I’m bragging – believe me, something this week will knock me on my ass – but I am trying to remember that I am strong more often.  I am strong enough to live without medication.  I am strong enough to know when I need help.  I am strong enough to be a mom.

And I’m healthy.  Holy mackeral pants.  I’m healthy.

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