Posted by: cck | August 26, 2011

dye me

Today was my dreaded HSG Dye Test.  Much like the IUD removal (and hell, insertion), I started by totally psyching myself out.

Then, I got there and realized I was being fairly silly.  After all, I want this alien thing to take host in my body – what’s a little dye?

It wasn’t that bad…  My doctor administered the test, and honestly the room was more off-putting (huge machines, lots of nurses) than the test itself.  Let’s see on the list of things that my body likes to joke about – apparently my cervix is super shy.  Like giggle behind a palm kind of shy.  Dude, body, get it together.

Right before the test, when I was doing my deep breathing and calming my body down, the doctor (whom I’m really starting to like), let me know that K’s semen analysis wasn’t that positive.  She was worried about the medications he takes – the anti-depressant super combo of Wellbutrin and Prozac.  Prozac does a number on the swimming boys.

I don’t know how bad it was – but it was bad enough for her to specifically review on my chart and share with me.  We have our next consultation with her next Thursday – with all the test results back.  How about that for a kick in the stomach?  My uterus filling with blue dye just wasn’t enough.

I got back to my car, and started crying.  I don’t want K to go through this.  Lemme back up, obviously he is going through this – he’s in step with me and he’s serious and supporting and handling it quite well.  Now, the fates are about to pile this new quandary on his plate and I wish I could save him from it.  I’ve had a few years to get used to the idea that my parts don’t work the way they’re supposed to.  He’s got to get okay with this, and quickly.

When I saw him today he could tell something was up.  Of course, he was worried that my test had gone wrong.  It broke my heart to tell him the truth.  To his credit, he handled it well.  He cracked a joke, handled his shit.  There may be some emotional fallout this weekend, but nothing we can’t handle.  (Gah, I love being able to say that – and not just say it, but believe it).

So, that all happened this morning.  The aftermath of the test is worse than the test.  There’s some cramping, and I feel a bit bloated.  It’s more unpleasant than painful, but I don’t feel like doing much and I didn’t return to work this afternoon.  Luckily, it’s okay to have days like this.

Oh, and the dye test went well.  Everything looks like it should be.  And, it was pretty cool to see it up on the screen.  I am getting re-acquainted with my body, and it’s a love affair.

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