Next week I meet with a fertility specialist. Color me excited. I have so many questions to ask – and absolutely no idea what sort of response I’m going to get.
So, here’s the crazy part. I’m worried that I’m too fertile; that I won’t pass some sort of threshold to get the medicinal help I want/need in order to get pregnant quickly. It isn’t about wanting a Christmas baby or not wanting to be bloated for the summer. Case in point: I was talking with a friend about pregnancy and she was insistent that I wouldn’t be getting sleep because of late feedings. I calmly replied that I wouldn’t be doing any late feedings and she became irate. I hope it was because she didn’t understand: I won’t be doing late night feedings because I’ll be sleeping through the night. I’ll be sleeping through the night because one of my greatest defenses against Real Crazy is getting sleep. I haven’t been Real Crazy since 2003. Just because it hasn’t made an appearance doesn’t mean it’s not real.
There’s a reason I’d like to get pregnant quickly. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle wild hormones and a second-string mood drug. I know that March is sort of difficult for me — the light changes and spring explodes and I’d prefer not to struggle with a lot of postpartum stuff in March.
Since I’m paying for it, and insurance isn’t — can’t I have fertility treatments on demand? Any questions you wished you had asked? Things you wanted that you didn’t get?